I hate you!
Her words had fangs and an ability to suck up the happiness in the room. Her words had fangs and they bit him. Painfully. She was furious and at this state, his soothing words cannot soothe her anymore. Tears were starting to fall from her eyes. A trail of mascara followed them into her cheeks. Then her hand aggressively wiped them, creating a shade of black and tears.
I hate you! Didn’t you hear me? I hate you!
Her words morphed into a knife, trying to penetrate and hurt him. It created a tear in his protective jacket and a scratch into his future plans. Her deadly stare started to shake his trust on theirs, as if the way she says those words weren’t enough to crumble the shaky foundation of theirs.
You really don’t care?
Her words turned icy cold. The anger subsided but the next phase were worse than the previous one, it turned cold. A cold silence, icy and much painful than the fangs and the knife. She silently sob, trying to control and not control her cries.
You weren’t even mine.
Her words were in monotone now, no more anger. Nothing. It reflected her surrender, her acceptance. He looked at her, she’s beautiful. She is and she will always be. But he cannot have her, not when everyone is against it. Because, according to them, it’s not right. It’s not fair. Nothing is fair. They cannot go on like this forever. And forever doesn’t even exist.
The world seems to be shaking, the walls were crumbling. His confidence were fading, he cannot let her go. He came here with a well planned break up speech. Hearing that single word of surrender, it opened a wound. A wound he thought he might never have. Him, a reasonable man and who never let his emotion drive his life into an abyss, is here with a crumbling confidence. He looked at her and saw the woman he loved. She was staring at the floor, trying to stop her tears.
He moved towards her, she looked up with a questioning eyes. He embraced her, afraid of going. There were tears on his eyes but it doesn’t matter. Que Sera Sera. Whatever Will Be, Will Be. His thoughts didn’t drive into its usual path, it didn’t plan out the future. What matters now is now. Tomorrow will take care of itself and the next and the next. That maybe good or bad and he might screw up his plans or his destiny but it doesn’t matter. He chose her. It will be her. It will be.
On the day that you left, I decided to take out the trash. You see, it’s been a week and the trash are piling up. I can’t seem to breath in the house without reminding myself of you and the tons of trash that are rotting. I can smell it even in the dining room or even when you left and slammed the door.
On the day that you left, I decided to change the covers of our bed. It smells awful, something to do with you being so sweaty at night. Or the mess that we usually make in bed. The house seems really smelly these days, even the new covers remind me of our laundry time, bath time and any other time we used to enjoy together.
On the day that you left, I decided to vacuum the carpet. There were stains that I couldn’t even take away. You’re a little bit clumsy when you eat during our movie marathons. Remember the time you spilled the popcorn on the carpet, well, I found some of the popcorn today. (more…)
What if I’m tired
of being an adult,
of being responsible
of thinking before doing something,
of being mature enough,
of being understanding.
What if I’m tired
of the voices within my head,
of the thoughts that I drown,
of the things I cannot say,
of the tears I cannot explain.
What if I’m tired
of not going,
of not staying,
of not flying,
of not being free.
What if? (more…)
She limped down the lane. Half walking, half running and limping all the while. Her severed ankle made it impossible to run, she didn’t dare to looked at it. She might passed out. When the bat hit it, she cried in agony and passed out. Everything’s a shady haze she didn’t dare think about. Everything will be all right. She needs her focus now, at this moment, in this almost dead street. She tried to make her pace a bit faster, trying to bear the pain as she take one step and another.
She can finally see the outline of the gate. The gate. The only thing that separates her war-torn place from a safe haven. They said it’s safe there. They said that once you reached the gate, your worries would be gone. She’ll certainly have the life that she dream about. (more…)
The Jump (borrowed image)
“Now,” invitingly he extend his hands.
“I can’t. You know I can’t,” I try to back away. Feeling the hard rock bumped into my back as I try to get away from him and here.
We were standing in a big rock. At this height, we can be around 50 feet above the sea level. I wasn’t able to ask the depth of the jumping site, I never wanted to know. My feet are shaking, giving me all the reason to back away and go back in the safe haven of our cottage. (more…)
“When did you know you were lost?” he asked. (more…)
Ki woke up because of the loud banging on the door. She sat up from bed and looked around. The room was still dark but the lights that were creeping under the door were enough for her to see. She slowly got up from bed, trying to be discreet so as not to wake three-year old Kenny. She tiptoed towards the door and peeped through the keyhole. (more…)
They were graceful,
Falling with the music.
Mimicking the beauty
Of a ballerina in trance.
I watched them fall,
With thoughts and words.
In waltz in my head,
My fingertips to yours.
I watched them dance
To the ancient music.
A whispering glee
With the warmth of your breath.
The answer brought to life.
“Continuous Integration is the practice where in you commit daily. Your code is integrated into the main line almost every day, slowly but surely, those small task that you do will have an enormous impact on the whole system if you’d integrate in one swift blow, right? We don’t want that to happen because it would be difficult to fix when all the problems are found at the end; what do you think is the advantage of Continuous Integration or CI, Mr. Jefferson?” the lecturer randomly picked a name from the list of the attendees. (more…)
There was silence as she walks down the aisle, as the guest looked at her with adoration and some sort of pity. She bite-off the thought of turning back and running towards the door, away from this feeling that people called as “the cold feet” that every bride-to-be usually feels. She smiled because it was the only right thing to do; because if she won’t, the tears might fall and might ruin her wedding. It’s her wedding, it’s the most special day of her life and she’s marrying the man of her dreams. The only man that she ever loved. This is her fairy tale.
There were petals falling down from the ceiling– just the way they wanted it to be. Every bridesmaid and groomsmen were dressed according to their favorite colors– just as planned as well. Oh! How charming and beautiful they look. The interior design of the church and even the administering priest were handpicked. It will be the wedding of the year. (more…)