The second book that I finished this year is Paulo Coelho’s Eleven Minutes. It’s about Maria, a 23-year-old girl who became a prostitute in a foreign country and stopped believing that she can find her true love, the one and the only man she’ll share her whole life with. It’s about a different route to love– something more about sex, making love and the acts that people do to satisfy one another. Maria’s diary were about the men she met as a prostitute– men who were powerful that seems to be trapped in the world that they never wanted to be in. She even had some version of herself that she would show to her customer, for her to understand them and give them what they wanted.
What really got hooked me in this book is the idea of possession when we fall in love. I always believe that love is selfish and selfless at the same time. It’s selfless because you’re very willing to give your whole being– time, effort and more to the person that you love the most. It’s selfish because we don’t want other people getting too close to the person that we love. On some occasions, we get this idea that we are the only person who is capable of loving that someone. We are the only one who can paint that smile into his or her face; definitely, we are wrong. When we caged someone into our love– it’s selfishness that brought this act. That person is surrounded by a lot of people and those people can contribute, in one way or another, to his or her own happiness.
In Eleven Minutes, there was a story about a bird. A person fell in love with the bird as it flew high in the sky. It was majestic. The bird usually visits the person and they would spend time together, after which the bird would go back to the sky to fly once more. The person, fearing that the bird would one day disappear and never to come back resorted in caging the bird. It’s the safest way to ensure that the bird won’t leave. When in the cage, the bird got sick– it misses its freedom and the sky. The person, on the other hand, got bored in the process of feeding and cleaning up with the bird. Until such time that the bird’s condition got worse and it eventually died. The person didn’t blame the cage, he/she failed to see what’s his or her fault in the scene; rather, he/she remembers that time when he/she fell in love with the bird flying. Yes, as one can see clearly, we fall in love with someone while they are still free. And when we finally caged that person of our adoration or love to us alone, we loses that view of love– that it is not to possess. It is about freedom and not possessing someone’s time or his whole being. He or she needs to test his own water, fly his way around the sky and drink the freedom that life is offering; whether or not we are by his side when he do such things, remembering that we love and we are loved in return would be enough.
We love in different ways, in different levels. We may think that we are more loving than our partner or the other way around but the important part is that we never fail to make them feel that we do. It’s one of life’s greatest tragedy when you fail to tell him or her about what his or her importance. On the other side of the coin, when our love is somewhat hurting that other person we tend to fix things by saying “Sorry”. What I realized this past few days is that, when we start saying “I’m sorry” to our other half, we maybe loving that someone in a wrong way. We may tend to hurt them in a way we never intended to do but we did. It’s a rational thing to do that we should really think if we are still capable of loving that person. Or, if we’re just hurting him/her by doing this or that.
I’ll never be a perfect lover, it’s a constant battle between me and the selfish person inside me to possess the person I love the most. I tend to over think and then, the insecurities would come in, consuming the happiness and the life I’m starting to build. I tend to compare myself with others, which will never be good because we were made differently; with our own good and flaws.
Hi there February! Shower us your love please! :*