I like walking alone, sometimes.
I’m not a fan of walking down an empty road with just a lamp post ahead; what I like is more on walking down a busy street. Carrying my bulky backpack as I smell some sort of pollution from the passing cars because it gives me that feeling that I can certainly think here and be sure that I’m not really alone.
Here are some moving it thoughts that has been passing through and forth in my mind:
Life is unfair. Life is hard. Sometimes, when you feel like it’s okay it will definitely hit you in the face or make you face the wall for you to realize that it’s not okay. You need to move it. Move somewhere, some time or something else. It’s not constrained in the nooks of your house, the four corners of your office– the world is a big round adventureland. If you don’t get to move around and experience newer things, you’ll never know what life really is. And as what I’ve been saying before, if you don’t choose to do things– the wind of life would do the choosing for you. It will definitely bring you somewhere that you drive it too. Willingly or unwillingly.
I set a lot of goals for myself these past few years and some of them are rotting or fading away from me, slipping through my fingers because I’ve been choosing the wrong things. I think I need more time to do them and maybe a huge amount of determination to get them to their actualization. I’m beginning to question my humanity, my values, my core– limits, capabilities and all stuff that makes me human. And sometimes, the answers are not as good as I wanted them to be. Maybe, when we do our own weighing for ourselves, we get a little harsher than we ought to be because the bar is set higher, the limit tougher.
If I continue thinking and blaming, I’m going back to square one again. Recursively. Always. I get to choose things that I’m “forced” to take, even if the better part of me is screaming that one thing is more important than this one. It made me realize that certainly I am not in control of my life, time and energy. I do things because other people asked me to do it– even though my doesn’t want to. I let people dictate me on what’s important– never realizing that I should live by my own rules and decide on things depending on what I really wanted, on where my heart is.
Maybe life is unfair and it’s true that it’s unfair for everyone that we get to see that sense of fairness into it. And if we don’t get to see past the unfair or fair perception that we have of it, we won’t be able to see what’s really there for us. As for this post, for me.
The wind of change had struck me; a very rare opportunity knocked me off my feet, offering something that I’ve been dreaming of for a long time. And I’m certainly moving with it. I decided to go along the road of uncertainty– uncertain in the sense that it’s a new world. My comfort zone will be on hiatus for a long time (I hope not) but, if I don’t take this opportunity, I might never get any of this type.
It’s scary. Leaving my shell, being bare once again is somewhat exposing myself to some sort of scary things. I’m trying to be stronger, to take up the challenge and maybe face it once again. This time, the heart is there– that burning sensation inside of me that will push me to whatever limit I can.
Maybe settling down can be done but if I settle now, I might not see what’s on the other side– the side I never reached, this side of paradise is a happy place but surely I can never compare unless I’ve tried the other. I’ll never know the answer unless I’ll asked, right?
I’m moving it. Yes. Definitely. The old leaf of this chapter is about to end, there’s no reason to be sad; rather, ending means new beginning. New challenges. New chances.
This is for Move-It
Monday Series. I’m removing the days in this scheduled post since I can’t cope with it due to my very busy or lazy schedule. See you around dear readers!