What I like about writing is the feeling of being free. It’s not like I am caged somewhere, it has something to do with me being at my wit’s end when it comes to expressing my emotions, especially those emotions on the negative side. When I am angry, I end up crying instead of shouting the crap out of me. Worst, there are days when all I want to do is crawl back to bed and forget about what’s making me angry. I don’t like being angry or it stems from me not liking other people to see me at my worst. I’m quite shy about my emotions, when I am sad I don’t let people know about it because maybe I don’t like explaining what’s making me sad or I don’t want people to shed some bad light to the very reason why I am sad.
When I think about it, it’s usually the closest to me (or us) who has the ability to hurt me. I am not insinuating that I am hurt right now, okay? (I’m defensive, deal with it). Well back to this thought, when it comes to those people that are dear to me, I don’t want to put them in a bad light. Even if I am angry at them or if they’re making me sad, I don’t want people to know because I don’t have any idea how to tell them myself why I am angry or hurt. I think it’s logical that I was wired this way, I don’t have the courage to tell them about the things that hurt me or makes me angry and so I shouldn’t tell anyone else. I owe it to that person.
When I am angry or sad, it is such a help that I can still express myself through writing. Nothing so fancy. Just the emotions and hopefully, there would be some sort of healing. This is a form of self care for me. And I am glad, that I still have this blog to write the things that keep me up at night.
Sorry for the long hiatus.
Hopefully, I am back this 2017.
2016 was a great year, I was just too lazy being pregnant. 😛