Vice, Addiction, Stagnation

Just me and my shadows

Just me and my shadows

I woke up today feeling a little blue, nothing serious though. It’s just one of those days where you wanted to huddle in bed, slumber or cuddle, whichever is applicable for you.

Then, Bang! Sadness, worries and depressing thoughts would then end up in my own mind– at an early morning and congratulations! I just ruined my day.  

On the side note, I don’t like talking/writing about people’s vice that I hate. I try my very best to think before posting anything or before judging anyone on what he or she does that might affect me. It’s a long process, understanding other people’s situation is not easy for me and I tend to lose focus on them especially if my emotions were hindering me to see the real situation. With today’s Daily Prompt: Never gonna give you up, with a topic on vice that I certainly don’t like on others– let me just talk about my own bad habit. Let me criticize myself. I think I need it more today than on any other.

What I don’t like about her(basically me) is her addiction to coffee. Yes. That’s her vice, she drinks too much coffee. She would drink a cup in the morning, one in the office (still in the morning), then around 3 in the afternoon the next one would come and then, the last one would be after dinner. That’s on a regular basis, which comprises of the days she feels fine and not a streak of stress in her life. Take away the happy days and put in some gloomy, depressing days of over time and stressful work-load and she would turn into a coffee-monster, drinking a cup almost every hour. Staying sane and killing herself slowly.

Stagnation. Stagnant. Stagnant.

Why did I include this on the list? Of course, this is her biggest dilemma. She’s stagnant, it’s particularly hard for her to go to the next level. She’s always afraid. She’s afraid of showing her feelings, she doesn’t like the lime light of anybody’s attention. She’s afraid of facing reality and the stuffs that other people’s think of her. She’s paranoid of what people will think of her. She want to be free, she plans to travel, to be financially capable, to write, to code or to do this or that BUT none of them are happening. She’s always trapped in the world that she created. There’s always a subtle reason why she can’t move on. Add a little depressing situation to her world and she would definitely go to her bedroom, close the door, lights-off and doze off. Away from reality, away from the sadness that she feels. It’s her escape and her damnation. It’s difficult for her to face them, she’s not courageous as what people thinks of her. She’s always afraid. It’s her vice. Her ruined path.

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Oh well. I got too carried away but let me post it this way. Let me remind myself that I need to do something. Always. Not later or tomorrow but always. What about you? What are the things that you don’t like? What are your vices? Share. Share.  

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4 Comments

  1. I am so easily jealous/envious.

    She’s got a better body.
    He just passed a language certification exam!
    What nice he/she has!
    Oooh, she’s/he’s going to .

    To myself: “What are you doing here? Why are you still here? What’s happening to you?”
    SULK.

    Reply
    • Yay. Same here. I sulk in a corner too and let the days pass before realizing I’m wasting my time being bitter. We need to wage war against this bitter feeling. 😀

      Reply
  2. what nice — insert something — he/she has!
    oooh, she’s/he’s going to –insert place here —

    Reply
    • “oooh, she’s/he’s going to –insert place here –”

      I guess you’ll eventually go to that place, wherever he/she is heading to. I can certainly feel it. Yay.

      Reply

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