I was quite busy in the past few days because real-life is really taking its toll on me as I swam in its huge pass or fail, make it or break it coaster. It seems like a new plan is being directed on my way or I’m being drawn into that new plan, whichever is true, and it seems so difficult to just sit back, relax, open up my WordPress reader and enjoy! I don’t get this much time anymore.
As I read through my reader, I was reminded again about my writing and what’s happening to it. I created another blog to separate my stories and adventures but it seems I am not writing fully at these two blogs. I am not torn but I feel like I am having some sort of block that seems to consume my passion in writing. This is the part where I am starting to feel that I shouldn’t have done this or that. Or, some worst case scenario that I should probably stop doing this. Then, this question pops into my mind…
Yes. Why do I write?
Is it because I want to be heard? Maybe I want people to know my thoughts. Maybe I’m still in that phase that a number of views per day do excite me and maybe I’m starting to kill the fun of writing by stressing myself over the low page view.s Maybe not. Or, maybe yes.
As I examine myself and my inner thoughts and looking to some deeper reasons and meaning as to why I write I am confronted by some of the things I am afraid of and it seems this is the reason why I write.
I write because it’s easier for me to write my thoughts than say it, face to face.
I write because there are just some things that I need to say. Some words that are trapped inside of me that I can’t let go so easily. Those words and thoughts are always there, hidden from the dark because their owner is too afraid to say them.
Sometimes, writing them down instead of saying it is easier for me. I tend to get the courage that I certainly do lose the moment I try to say something. And in this blogosphere I have control of what to say and I get the courage to do so. I can write, rewrite, repackage my thought. Blogging doesn’t only mean writing to make an impact to society or to the world. Blogging, sometimes, do mean a form of self expression. The pointless and naughty conversation inside one’s head is finally getting out of the shadowed corner.
Why write? Because when real life smack me in the face, it might be so difficult to stand up again but I can always open my laptop, login to my website and blog about some things that I am happy about. Or sad. Or angry. Or how I was smacked in the face by real life.
Why write? Because when my own voice fails me, I can still write it up in the corner of my red notebook and give myself a pat in the back for expressing it. Most of the times, words aren’t meant to be heard because some of them are damaging and their sharp edges do cut deeper; there are times that it’s better for them to be expressed. To be written, to go out and fly for them not wear out its bearer.
Why write? Because this is the only place where I think I can be totally free.
Why write? Why not?